I was following WW before joining online (had the materials from my last go with it) and I lost and gained and bounced around.  Online helps with tracking and accountability but I can’t get the scale to budge.  It drives me insane… absolutely insane.

Every day someone is commenting on how great I look and saying they can really tell I’m losing… BUT I’M NOT!  I mean, my body is totally changing- I’ve been working out, doing Kettlebells is really helping, and yes, I fit into smaller sizes so why can’t I just be happy with that?!  I’m not FINALLY fitting into the clothes I wore before I got pregnant, clothes that fit best when I was 10-15lbs lighter.  They fit great, the skirt I bought shortly after my wedding (a good 20-25lbs less than now) fit AWESOME.  I felt great… and then I had scale let-down as I’ve been calling it.

To me, the whole “but muscle weighs more than fat” seems like too much of an excuse. My waist is smaller, my hips/thigs are smaller… maybe I really need to start taking measurements.  Last time with WW, I averaged about a 1.5lb loss per week. I stayed ON PLAN SO MUCH BETTER… it’s just not happening this time.

I think the biggest problem is that we are away or attending events EVERY FREAKIN’ WEEKEND!  Seriously.  The closest weekend we had to not having any obligations was Easter… but I had a bridal shower & then we went to Derek’s aunt’s for dinner.  Other than that, we have been on the go since March 15.  Parties, travelling (resulting in bad food choices), etc have derailed my great M-F planning. 

The bad news… there’s not much of an end in sight   Memorial day weekend we have no plans FINALLY.  We’re staying home, sleeping in (as much as Tori allows), relaxing and cleaning.  Oh, and shopping for dresses for the 3 weddings we have from May-July.  Then it’s on the go again with 3 back-to-back weekend in the coal region for a wedding, birthday party then another wedding.  I wonder if I can get the NI for the meals at the weddings?  I just thought of that.  One of the weddings I won’t be drinking anything since I’m DD for the night… the other I may have a few drinks… I’m secretly hoping that we can cancel on the birthday party, but it’s our neice and we already missed last year because of a conflict that we couldn’t skip… Derek’s brother also has a son due at that time, so if it works out well, we’ll be able to visit the baby too during that weekend.

I know this is a lot of babble, I’m just frustrated and wish I wasn’t a slave to the scale.  I’m still about 20lbs above the “healthy weight range” for my height and 30lbs from my goal and it frustrates me beyond belief.

I’ve also realized that I haven’t been planning as well, and with all the travelling we’re doing I really need to start planning for the days we are home. 

This week, I’m going back to the basics a bit more trying to stick with mostly filling foods- no processed foods, or at least keeping them to a minimum.  Today is a bit off because I stayed home sick so I kind of had two breakfasts but haven’t really had lunch yet.  Dinner will be an easier meal (more of a processed meal, unfortunately) but it will be good

Today’s Menu:

B1 – Arnold’s Whole Grain Thin with 1/2 T Whipped PB, 1/2 T FF Cream Cheese & a banana.

B2 – 1/2 cup Quaker Old Fashioned Oats with 1 C FF Milk

S – DD Iced Coffee with Skim & Splenda

L- ?  Baked Potato with some steamed veggies

S- Pineapple and watermelon (1C each)

D – TJ’s Chili Lime Chicken burger on an Arnold’s Thin with baked “fries”

So, not looking too great today but the points are okay…

For the rest of the week, we planned our dinners and I’m pretty excited:

• Asparagus-stuffed Chicken with roasted potatoes and some sort of veggie on the side
• Stuffed Cabbage (aka pigeons for those of you in Central PA) with mashed potatoes
• NY Strip steak with baked potato and steamed broccoli

Then, I’m off to the beach and hopefully I’ll do okay but I know we’re doing quick foods while we’re there, so I’m planning to buy some fruits & veggies to snack on.

I hate hanging onto the weight, and I hate having gains even more, even if they are only small.  This week I gained again… I’m definitely feeling like I’m on a plateau because I’ve been gaining & losing the same 2lbs over the past month or longer.  I did well all week last week, then on the weekend I was busy, tired, stressed and I ate, although not a ton but I gained because of it… that or because I’m a bit “blocked up”- sorry TMI!  I actually hope it’s the latter that has the scale up, but I guess we’ll see…

I’m going to the beach in 3 weeks, and although my swimsuit looks fine, I want it to look even better.  Derek said I looked good- but I swear he’ll say that if I weight 500lbs- which is awesome in a sense, but I feel like I don’t get the brutal truth.  He did say that I look better than I did 2 months ago (Kettlebells is doing wonders) so I know he’s being honest that he thinks  I look good… but still.

Over the past 2-3 weeks I’ve had so many people tell me I look so good, losing weight, getting smaller, etc… and I’m finally starting to see it but it’s still tough.  This weekend, I dug out some shorts from last year and they are quite baggy, so I know that’s a good thing… they are also about 2 sizes too big, but sit down on my wide hips just fine.

Exciting news is that I pulled out an awesome white skirt I bought the summer after my wedding (pre-pregnancy) and I was much smaller then and I tried it on just to see how it fits and how much more work I need to do… IT FIT!  Yes, my belly is a little bigger but it fit and I’m wearing it to Tyffanny’s shower this weekend   I’m happy that my cute clothes are starting to fit… BUT WHY IS THE SCALE STILL UP?!

Okay… today is Kettlebells day That always makes me happy!

I’m participating in a Million Step Challenge with my Fitness center- so here are my goals based on that- as long as I wear my pedometer, I really think I can do this!

• Reach One Million Steps: June 13
• Reach Two Million Steps: October 1
• Reach Three Million Steps: December 31

As of right now, I’m at about 430,000 steps (since March 11).

Size Matters to Me:

• Fit comfortably in a size 10 by Memorial day.  (Right now I’m a consistent 12 with some 10s now fitting; if I acheive this, all the clothes in my closet will fit me again)
• Express 8s by August (Right now, I can pull them on and button- TIGHTLY- but no where near fitting well)

Stay Active!:

• Participate in a 5K in October
• Keep up with   my current workouts and push myself to try new things

Okay, that’s it for now.  I’m working out my weight goals but the scale is not always as nice as how my clothes are fitting, etc so I’m trying not to rely on that too much. I was really hoping to get to 500,000 steps by the end of the day today but it’s not happening.  By next Friday- definitely and I think I’ll treat myself to a pedi for that one

Yep, I gained 1lb, but I was expecting it.  No tears shed for this one, and I definitely wasn’t stratching my head wondering what went wrong.  I ended last week with something along the lines of -70 points… do the math, it equals a gain.

Good thing is, I’m back on plan and having a great week so far…

I actually did pretty well today, even though I had a baby shower to go to.  I ate lunch before I went because it was a “tea party” with finger sandwiches and such, so I had  a smart ones quesadilla with bell peppers strips and hummus so I wouldn’t be hungry and eat badly.  I don’t like any of the sandwiches they served anyway (chicken salad, egg salad, and then those pre-made deli spirals with cream cheese and stuff inside), so it was good.  There was no cake, but rather petit fours and small, bite sized brownies, cinnamon rolls, etc – I allowed myself ONE petit four and ONE coconut cookie.  Drank water and a cup of hot tea with splenda, since I had to get into the “tea party” spirit, I didn’t waste any points on lemonade because I knew I wanted to drink the new Cherry Dr Pepper I bought.  I did well today. I ate sensibly and I was OP for the most part.  I didn’t dig my negative points down any more today, which is good.

The odd thing?  I stepped on the scale about 10 minutes ago (10pm-ish) just to see what I’ m getting myself into.  In a normal day, I’m usually about 3-5lbs heavier at night than I am first thing in the morning… It makes sense since I ate all day, drank all day, etc.  Well, I was hoping to see anything under 180 to have hope that I haven’t gained TOO much weight back… what did I see? 176.2!  How could that be?  If that is true, there’s a chance that I didn’t gain- or only had a minimal gain this week.  I won’t read too much into it until I have my actual WI on Monday morning, but I couldn’t believe that it was so low.  If I somehow managed to lose weight this week it will be a miracle- but maybe I put my body  into total shock with all the junk and bad eating I did…  we’ll see.  I have hope I won’t gain more than the 2lbs I lost last week, I’m not holding my breath about it, but we’ll see.

I’m in the process of writing down some goals for myself and will get them up here soon…it’s my accountability!  One of the biggest is to stop soda again.  I gave it up for Lent kinda- drank about 1 soda per week. This past week? ONE PER DAY.  Some days it was out of boredom since they didn’t have my diet sweet tea at work… and I didn’t even enjoy the soda much- tells me I DON’T NEED IT!!!

PMS brought me down, as it does each & every month.  Monday I was off work with Victoria and it turned out that Derek was also off with us since he’s hurt.  I was stressed about his injury, frustrated with the weather, frustrated that my plans for the day didn’t work out and HUNGRY.

I ate terribly. Cheesesteak for dinner- quite a high point meal but we’ve been planning on it for a few weeks and kept pushing it off.  Then I got into the peanut M&Ms not realizing the harm they would do.  I blew through all by 5.5 of my weekly points… then yesterday I finished off my remaining WP’s plus the 6 APs I earned AND now I’m at a 3.5pt deficit.  Not a good thing when I have a baby shower to go to this weekend (AGAIN) and I can’t control the menu. I just hope I have the willpower to eat smart.

I feel like now I’ll be back up over 175lbs.   I HATE that I did this…  I need to get back on track.  It’s only Wednesday and I don’t weigh in until Monday so there is hope, I just don’t have a lot.  The good thing is that I’m TRACKING.  EVERY SINGLE POINT.  Good or bad, if I track it, I can see how bad it really is and HOPEFULLY it will help me snap out of it… but the PMS craving monster is taking control. I’ve got to focus more on goals and accept the obstacles and accept that I’m losing so slowly… I will get to goal, it’s just taking MUCH longer than I expected or wanted but actually my size (pants size that is) is where I was before I was pregnant, so that’s an accomplishment, right?!

I’ve had a terribly frustrating week or two…  last weekend, we again went to visit our family as I had a bridal shower to attend and Derek wanted to go out for the first day of fishing with his brother, cousin, friends, etc.  I saved up ALL BUT 2 of my weekly points to be used on Fri-Sun. I earned 19 APs too, so as of Friday morning, I had 52 extra points at my disposal. 

Well, Derek and I went out for lunch on Friday- just us. It was nice, relaxing and good food.  We went to a local pub with great lean burgers (not greasy at all- can you imagine).  I accounted for every last bite.  Then, I ate dinner at my grandmother’s – homemade mac & cheese and fish (it’s Lent, you know).  The wrench in the plan?  My grandmother made her absolutely, delicious homemade apple cake. YUM.  I had a piece, I can’t resist- it’s one of my favorites and I had the points.  I estimated that it was probably 4-5pts, afterall there was no icing and it was APPLE cake.

Next day, had the shower and had a piece of the cake there. Had to estimate since it was store cake. Fun, probably 7pts according to my WW tracker.  Also had a small slice of apple cake with my breakfast… got curious and put gram’s recipe in the recipe builder… WHAT THE HECK!?!  So, I totally underestimated the amount of points in a slice…  recipe builder said 10 pts.  Great, another wrench in my weekend plans.  SO MUCH FOR PLANNING! Grrrr….Anyway, at the end of the weekend, I figured that I used all WPA and APs I had but didn’t really go over…who knows if I underestimated though.  Weigh in… +0.6lbs.    Guess it wasnt’ good…  However, I did have a super salty day on Sunday and that always results in water retention/extra weight. 

It’s frustrating because it’s been about 4 weeks since I’ve approached 175 and here I am, back at 176.  I feel like I get stuck at every 5lb milestone for a MONTH.  How the heck am I ever going to lose the last 6lbs of baby weight at this rate? I should have been there over a year ago.  Note to self… gaining 56lbs during pregnancy, followed by a very emotional year wreacks havoc on your body.  I am not a fast loser. I’m a gainer and that needs to change.

I joined a new challenge at my gym “Lose to Win”.  Of course, my first weigh in was a gain (coordinated with my WI at home). This week, I’m hoping to stay OP all weekend.  It’s PMS week so that always makes it hard.  I’m grouchy, hungry, tired, lazy… the list goes on.   I’ve changed my WI to Tuesdays to coordinate with the L2W challenge… so now i’m getting use to having to either have a super clean, OP Monday or saving points.  Mondays are usually the one day each week that I NEVER go over my daily target, but I would LOVE to save at least 5 WPAs to make sure I lose.  Who knows…

I had a bad night last night though- chips and ice cream. Counted every last point.  I have 22 WPAs left for the week (Today-Monday) and I have a lowly 10 APs (Better than none).  I have a bridal shower tonight after work. I brought fruit. Hopefully I can be good and just use normal dinner points + 5 WPAS.  I really want to go out to eat tomorrow if we go shopping. I need to save. I skipped the gym this morning, I was too tired.  The extra hour of sleep worked wonders on my mood. YAY.

Sunday is Easter. We’re going to Derek’s aunt’s house for dinner. I’m bringing fruit salad.  I’m going to really try to start offering/bringing low-point options to meals/potlucks/parties. What scares me is Monday. I’m off with Victoria (daycare closed). That usually means more snacking.  I’m hoping to take her to the bounce place so that will keep us busy in the morning… then we’ll have lunch (who knows what though?!) and hopefully she’ll nap and I can work out while she does… 

This was such a rambling mix-match of thoughts… a typical day in my head. Fun stuff!

Our trip to Pittsburg went well. Got a lot of walking in and I actually went to the gym at the hotel on Friday while Derek & his parents took the girls swimming.  I was very proud that I went to the gym instead of lounging pool-side. J I watched what I ate as much as possible- with the exception of the awesome breakfast we had at the Dor-Stop Diner – thanks Guy Fieri and Food Network for suggesting it on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives!  I got banana oatmeal pancakes- DELICIOUS!!!

My weekly weigh-in was okay, I was down 0.2lbs.  This past week wasn’t as good. I was up & down with my points, while remaining on plan well thru Thursday.  Then Friday hit with lots of stress and I ate up more points than I wanted to, knowing we were going to be home visiting family over the weekend. I ate and ate… Derek’s sister and I went out shopping for last minute stuff for my niece’s christening and had lunch at Red Robin.  Greasy, wonderful, yummy Banzai burger with fries- no mayo- for a whopping 27 pts.  That’s right- I used more points than my daily allowance on LUNCH alone.  It was good though, and I enjoyed every bite.  If my weigh in was going to be off, I knew why. OOPs.

So, I weighed in for the final week of the weight loss challenge I’m in and gained 0.2 lbs. What a way to end it- but in all reality it just means I’ve maintained the past two weeks while being away for 6 days of the 14- not bad in my opinion.

My overall stats for the challenge were:

Starting Weight: 180.4

Final Weight: 175.4

Total Lost: 5lbs; 2.77%

So, while I would have liked to have lost more than 5lbs in 2 months, I didn’t but you know what? IT’S OKAY!  It’s a slow process and I’m fine with that.

At the christening this weekend we saw all of Derek’s family that we don’t normally see and mostly ALL of this aunts commented on how good I looked, asking how much weight I’ve lost or something along those lines.  My grandmother, who I hadn’t seen in 3 weeks even couldn’t get over my “shrinking waist”.  My hips are now the problem…my waist is getting smaller and if I wear something form fitting, it looks great, but then I have my huge hips and I definitely have a very noticeable pear-shaped figure now.

I’ve also embarked on a new adventure- Kettlebells, but I’ll save that for another post J

I was doing so-so with my points this week- didn’t use any WPAs on Monday but used 7 on Tuesday and 4 yesterday, leaving 24 for the week… I’ve earned 11 APs so far so I could actually use 35 pts this weekend- I’ll need it!  We’re heading out to Pittsburg for a long weekend with Derek’s parents and sister- and meeting up with his cousin that lives there plus his family.  Derek’s parents are taking our niece- we planned this trip for the kids so we’re going to the zoo & children’s museum… going out to eat, etc.  I’m going to wear my pedometer to see how much we’re walking- I bet it’s going to be a lot!

Tonight I think we’re going to eat out since we have some errands to run before the trip.  I did my research and think we’re going to Macaroni Grill- I’ll get the Pollo Margo Skinny Chicken. It’s great- I had it when I went there during my first week of Core and was really trying to stick to the plan…well, I looked up the info and it’s only 6pts for the whole dinner- it’s served with grilled asparagus and steamed broccoli. YUM! and awesome because that means I can even have 1/2 the bread if I want and still only use 11 pts for dinner!

I only hope I can be so good on the weekend. I know dinner is at Derek’s cousin’s house Friday night- so I won’t have control over what’s served, but as far as snacks- I’m taking my own!  Dinner will be out somewhere on Saturday so I just need to be aware of what I order… Sunday I’m indulging in breakfast so I want to save up!

Hopefully I’ll have good news & a trip report on Monday!